feel free to pm or discuss here if you'd like to grab one. post a starter as a new comment below ♥︎
for lan wanji:
→ during school years, lxc finds lwj upset after wwx has been kicked out of classes. lxc doesn't mean to meddle, but he hopes he can help his brother see why. → post-canon, lxc has entered seclusion and intends to remain there no matter how much his brother is trying to involve and ask his opinion on sect duties. → lxc is marrying someone, what would lwj's reaction be. → i just love any brotherly moments between them, so feel free to suggest.
for wei wuxian:
→ lxc in seclusion, wwx has taken to visiting him. lxc is not sure why until he realizes that he's being asked for advice to court his brother. → canon divergent: lwj dies at nightless city, lxc takes wwx back to cloud recess like his brother would have wanted. to keep him from getting killed, he marries him with the requirement that he cannot leave cloud recess. maybe they develop genuine feelings for each other? either way it's messy. then, surprise, lwj is brought back. → any awkward in-law moments welcome.
for lan sizhui:
→ moments between nephew & uncle, lxc did help raise him while lwj was in seclusion. also, technically, he is the sect heir so lxc has a lot to teach him.
for nie mingjue ♥︎♥︎♥︎:
→ awkward first times? lxc very lovingly taking nmj apart? learning what they like together? → school day romance when they are students or just as they grow up together. → arranged marriage au before the events of cql/mdzs flashbacks happen. how would that work with two sect leaders/sect leader & sect heir. → what if nmj had lived and jgy hadn't managed to make him qi deviate? or somehow, they caught on? what would it be like if they got to be together through wwx's return. → modern au: establish relationship, talking about adding in someone new. → give me a marriage night. → abo au: alpha nmj and beta lxc -- would that be a struggle when nmj was expected to take an omega bride? → the last time they see each other, lxc tells nmj he loves him.
for nie huaisang:
→ mourning mingjue together → after mingjue's death, there's still an arranged marriage between the nie and lan sects to honor.
for jiang cheng ♥︎♥︎♥︎:
→ jc comes to cloud recess with a marriage proposal. the jiang sect elders are getting more insistent and there is no way that zewu jun would accept. it would be the last straw, then it would even be an embarrassment for the elders to insist. that is fine. it is the perfect plan. only... lxc doesn't say no. → a few years after nevernight, the jiang and lan sect enter an arranged marriage.
for jin guangyao:
→ mourning the death of jgy's son. → staying with meng yao in the brothel after cloud recess burned, trust is formed.
The mess of what had transpired with Jin Guangyao had left more than enough scars and damage for all of them to last for an eternity or more. Zewu Jun and Jin Ling more than any of the others. He had housed his nephew at Lotus Pier to give the lad enough time to grieve over what had transpired and all that had been revealed.
They both needed it.
Especially now that the teen was expected to be sect leader. Jiang Cheng knows of the weight that has on a teenager. He made sure that the teen was ready to take on the mantle of Sect Leader before they returned to Lanling. There was pomp and circumstance and he had heard the rumor --okay, he had heard Ouyang Zizhen discuss it with Jin Ling-- that Zewu Jun had locked himself into seclusion.
Wordlessly, as soon as the festivities were over, Jiang Cheng made the journey out to Gusu, to Cloud Recesses, where he hadn't stepped foot in since he himself was Jin Ling's age. A glower at a disciple allowed him entry and he demanded that they led him up to where Zewu Jun was hiding himself away from the world.
Another glower and the disciple scurried away. Jiang Cheng stood before the Hanshi and gripped his sword.
"Zewu Jun."
Jiang Cheng didn't exactly shout at the Hanshi. He remembered the rule of not raising one's voice or some noise such as that. But it certainly breaks the quiet that surrounded the residence.
Seclusion is not isolation, Xichen reminds himself. It can be, but his seclusion is voluntary and not the same as the punishment given to his brother on the eve of Nightless City.
His seclusion is a withdrawal from society, a step back from duties and responsibilities to reflect. He is not unlike his father, though the difference is that Qingheng Jun had withdrawn after heartbreak. There are whispers that Zewu Jun has abandoned his sect out of more selfish reasons, because he was a fool who had been blind as he helped a wolf lead the sheep to slaughter. Xichen has not heard them himself, of course, but he knows that the gentry clans can be far from kind.
His duties have fallen to his Uncle, for his brother has stepped into the shoes of Chief Cultivator. His nephew is traveling and Xichen has yet broached the topic of his secession with the boy. His father is the first obstacle, after all.
So.
That leaves him to spend his days within the four walls of his self-picked prison, with the windows shut now that the summer has given way to fall and the rains have come.
Dressed in only one layer on top of his inner robes, Xichen's hair is pulled back in a plait that lays down his back, his forehead ribbon the only adornment he has worn in -- he is not sure how much time has passed.
He is expecting the quiet sound of footsteps outside his door, of a junior disciple placing a tray of food outside the door. That's not what greets his ears at all, instead it is the sound of stomping and hushed voices insisting that 'Zewu Jun is not to be disturbed!' to someone new.
Oh.
Ohohohoh.
That is also not who he expects at all, outside his door.
By the conditions he has set for himself, Xichen has only seen his Uncle and Brother. He should certainly not open the door when he hears Jiang Wanyin call out his name. He should remain where he is, seated in a failed attempt at meditation. He should. And yet-- he is sliding the door open before he realizes it, heart pounding in his chest.
"Sect Leader Jiang?" he asks, aware -- all too late -- of his state of dress and how hoarse his voice sounds.
Anticipation flows freely through Lan Xichen, mirroring the currents that guide his boat down one of the long rivers from Gusu to Yunmeng's shores. The water flows quickly, then lulls, and picks up speed again. Xichen feels his heart fluttering in his chest each time the waters shift, as the distance between him and his destination grows ever smaller. Seated under the wooden canopy, protected from the winds by talismans and sturdy walls, he smoothes out the fabric of his robes and rests them in his lap. If the two disciples he brought with him think to comment on the fact that there are no creases in the grey fabric embroidered in navy, they know better that to comment on that or the fact that he has smoothed the creases only moments before.
Few things make Zewu-Jun nervous, a handful more cannot be concealed behind Lan Xichen's practiced and polite smile. Xichen, though that is the name he thinks of himself as out of habit, does not feel like either of those men. It is Lan Huan who learned what love meant from his mother, who as a young man barely past his youth had given his heart to another. He had done so again, only to watch that man marry and to learn that his love had blinded him to so much.
He is certain, that he should not be worrying about matters of the heart. Jiang Wanyin had made it seem that their professional relationship would not go unchanged. For that to happen, no matter how pleasant the visit will be, then nothing between them must change. He will leave as he came, though perhaps bearing marks that will remind him what could have been. Perhaps without his dignity in tact, though he is not sure what he has to lose given how much of himself he has bared without letting Jiang Wanyin see all of him.
So, he schools his features into a practiced smile as Lotus Pier comes into view. Pushing himself to his feet, stead as the current slows but treacherous heart continues to hammer on, Lan Xichen stands and watches the bustling pier draw nearer. It is a wonderful sight, the bustle and commotion he is unfamiliar with so high upon his mountain in the clouds, livelier than anything he has seen since his re-emergence into the world.
The two disciples with him, accompanying their Sect Leader on unofficial business, when the Grandmaster would not allow him to go alone, slow the tempo of their oars. Xichen has attended one conference since his reemergence to society, one that he hosted within the walls of his home. Surprising as it had been, fruitful in that it had lead him down the floating rivers to Yunmeng, it was not a true leap into the world.
Here, now, as he starts to make out figures on the wooden pier, Xichen think it's appropriate that this is his first venture beyond Cloud Recess's walls. He is here in an unofficial capacity, chaperoned until he crosses the threshold of Lotus Pier's gates, but then left to indulge and enjoy in the company of Lotus Pier's master. If, in the end, he leaves with heart bruised but bite marks on his skin, he can have some small tokens as he retreats behind the safe walls of the Hanshi and claims that he is not ready for the world.
Two weeks since their initial agreement to meet on the docks of Yunmeng. Fourteen days meticulously cleaning and decorating his home. Not only for the anticipated Lotus Festival, but for the highly esteemed Zewu-Jun who would come floating down their rivers for a visit.
While Jiang Cheng always looked forward to the festival, the excitement in his chest wholly belonged to their eventual guest. Though, excitement might have been too generous of a word; the rousing sensations running through his veins were a complicated mixture of anxiety, hope, fear, and want. Anxious, for what Lan Xichen would think of Lotus Pier, and if it would be worthy of being his first destination after emerging from seclusion. Hope, for what was to come between them, and fear that their ideas of it would not match. Want, for what Jiang Cheng had promised over late-night messages, but could not provide when they’d seen each other last. The day after the meeting, he had quickly left the mountains of Gusu after a small thank you for the hospitality and a terse farewell to his host.
Jiang Cheng had long since outgrown his carefree school boy days, and with it, any leniency for allowing his emotions to show on his sleeve; the face he wears now is void of any telltale signs of the turbulence within. He is Sandu Shengshou, after all. A man who rightfully earned the terrified respect of the other sects- A man whose mere existence stood as a defense from any potential threat that might one day arise. From the ruins of Lotus Pier, he rebuilt his home and reputation with his bare hands, while grief and loss sat heavy on his scarred back. How troublesome it would be to have his silly little crush on the one man he did not deserve break through his carefully crafted steel façade. (What he tries not to think about is that no matter how stalwart he stands, gentle pink lotus petals always follow near.)
A disciple entered the Sword Hall to tell his Jiang-zongzhu that a boat was sighted on Lotus Lake and was approaching the dock. Jiang Cheng stiffened, barked orders to have all the rooms checked and cleaned for the fifth time that day, and stood from his throne to walk toward the water and greet his guest. Each wooden plank creaked under his boots as he tread quickly along the dock, and he requested the disciple following him have them reinforced by nightfall in an effort to be rid of his tail. Once he found himself alone, he stole a quick glance at the reflection of himself in the water, and adjusted his bun, his robes- then his bun again. One last deep breath as the boat docked before him, his gaze lifted to meet the eyes of Zewu-Jun and his attempt to clear his throat turned into a clumsy sputter. Jiang Cheng apologized, stepped right to the very lip of the bow and outstretched his arm, with an open hand for the other man to take. The thin line his lips are pressed into curled into a small smile, unable to hide his delight as he greeted him.
“Lan Xichen, I’m glad you’ve made it to Yunmeng safely. Allow me to welcome you to Lotus Pier.”
The marriage had been a simple thing at first. It was necessary, as a Sect Leader, to engage in some kind of union, and his advisors had been bugging him nearly endlessly about it since he had grown old enough to begin to think about such things. He had imagined they wanted some nice, perfectly made young lady to become Madame Nie, to take control of all the matters he ignored (or left to Huaisang to fret about, as was his desire at times) and to bear his children, to continue the strong line.
Nie Mingjue took almost too much pleasure in subverting their expectations and following his heart. It was not necessarily the Nie way, given their history, but it was to be his way.
He and Xichen had known each other long enough for him to feel at first comfortable with him and then more, seeking his company at conferences he hated, spending time whispering to him when everyone else bored or irritated him. It wasn't that Nie Mingjue had intolerably short patience - he was particularly good at managing it when necessary - but he simply did not see the need to waste his time on things less worthwhile. It quickly became obvious to him just how worthwhile Lan Xichen was, not just as a friend but as a companion, someone he could trust to keep his secrets.
Time went on and they grew closer and Xichen stole his heart as surely as he had stolen his laughter, his time, his energy and more. He wanted to spend more time with him, wanted to be in his company, and after the needling and badgering of Huaisang, one of the few who could read him like an open book, he had attempted a courtship. One that had been successful, if their more recent bows were any measure to judge by. He can still remember how it felt to see Xichen in red and gold, to stand at his side and bow, to feel overwhelmed by the notion of belonging.
Now he is able to slip away from frustrating meetings and dodging Huaisang's requests for more inks or brushes or fans, slipping into a quiet side room of their accommodations to reach out and wrap arms around Xichen from behind, letting his head rest against the other's gently. It's enough to calm his frustrations and he sighs gently, some tension bleeding from his shoulders. Anger and upset is something to be well aware of as a Nie, but that is far from his mind right now.
Love is a complicated thing for a Lan, especially a Lan who's father is Qingheng-Jun. Xichen has grown up in the shadow of a man who abandoned his own Sect for his love, for a woman who killed and was punished for it with seclusion. He loves his Mother, of course, more than anyone, but from a young age, Xichen does not know his father because of his love. He sees him less of him after his mother's death, though even when she lived she was the parents he saw most often.
Lans only love once, love deeply. His Uncle warns him that it can consume, can ruin. Lan Huan fears love until he meets a boy who is his elder, who is brash but loyal, tempered but cares so deeply for those he holds dear. The fear dissipates as both he and that boy grow into men, as each steps into the role of Sect Leader far too soon. Conferences seemed easier in Nie Mingjue's company, worries of short-comings fell aside as they spoke of worries and secrets that should not be shared between men who were merely allies.
It not come as a complete surprise, then, when Mingjue had come not to solely visit him in Cloud Recess but to first speak with his Uncle. He felt more like anxious ward, hovering outside the door to the Yashi than a Sect Leader with the right to enter if he pleased.
There had been no need to worry, in the end. A union between Gusu Lan and Qinghe Nie was fortunate, no Elder could argue with that, and in the end their courtship endured a war and the aftermath of it. The complications of Sect matters were discussed and dealt with, their time split equally and matters of succession discussed; though in truth Xichen has the luxury of his Uncle, which allows him more leave of Cloud Recess than Mingjue can spare from the Unclean Realm. Those worries had been far from Xichen's mind on their wedding day, as he watched his husband in fine silks dyed red wearing a smile he wished to preserve for the rest of the ages.
Most worries are far from Xichen's mind now, though there are plenty that could call his thoughts away, as he stands in the library adjoining their main chamber in the Unclean Realm. He's reaching for a book on the shelf when strong hands wrap around his waist and he drops his own to cover them, gently resting his palms over Mingjue's forearms. "Welcome home, my love," he leans back into him, enjoying the warmth and scent of oils that clings Mingjue's skin - his own influence. He turns his head, pressing his lips to Mingjue's cheeks. "I was worried I would soon be forced to scandalize the Elders and pull you away from your duties."
I am unsure if da-ge would respect anything subversive. I imagine being direct and upfront will please him best. Perhaps we should invade his chambers.
[as winter gives in to spring, springs showers make their way through the mountains which are home to cloud recess. it rains more often then not, something that lan xichen is long used to. some days turn into sudden downpours, others bring storms.
the hanshi is quiet through the evening as he and jiang cheng share their dinner, tired for a long day. the rain grows heavier, thunder rumbles in the distance. even used to the storms, it makes xichen uneasy as they get ready to retire to bed. their marriage contract outlines that they spend equal time between cloud recess and lotus pier, but xichen thinks that perhaps with time they should adjust to spend winters and springs in yunmeng instead of in the mountains.
he is ill-prepared for yunmeng's summer heat, perhaps less so than his husband was for the darkness of winters in cloud recess.
the storm that fateful night at guanyin temple had been stronger than this, at least. he hopes that it will settle, dissipate and allow them to have a quiet night.
despite the storm outside, the hanshi is warm and the air between them is comfortable. while they are still learning the ins and outs of married life, it feels natural. not necessarily easy, no, but there is no other that xichen wants to tread this path with.
sleep comes easy when they're settled in bed, limbs loosely intertwined because even after a lifetime of sleeping on his back it had been easy to adjust to sharing the bed. it is large enough for them to have their space, but in the night they always shift together.
the opposite is what wakes him, the lack of jiang cheng's warmth pressed against him moments before thunder clashes overhead, drowns out all other noise and shakes the room.]
[ Adjusting to spending time in Gusu has not been as difficult as Jiang Cheng had first anticipated. Some of his anxiety had been surrounded on what would happen to Lotus Pier if he were to be gone for too long, what his disciples would do without him there breaking down their necks, without him to problem solve, but it seemed they were capable of handling things. He didn't have to be there at every moment, he didn't need to be there to watch them each second. Yunmeng was flourishing again and he could feel proud of that, even if he was disconcerted at first.
He liked to be needed by his people.
With his letters, reports and missives to guide him he is still able to take care of his Sect even from the towering mountains of Gusu. He likes it here, likes the quiet and the softness of it - and, of course, he likes that it means he can spend as many hours as there are in a day with his husband. It has been an adjustment, adapting his living to having someone else with him almost all the time, but it's one Jiang Cheng had been content to do. He's never felt this kind of happiness before, and the fact that a-Huan still wants him in his life, still wants him to be at his side, makes him feel more comfortable and happy than he has been in years.
It doesn't take long for them to settle into bed, to move in and curl up close to the warmth of his partner, and he slips into sleep as easily as he has done in the past. The mountain air is soothing - different from the smell of lotus and water, but nice enough - and Jiang Cheng settles; he settles for long enough that it comes as a surprise when he wakes up with a sharp gasp.
The rain always makes his mind drift back to the day that he lost his parents and it seems not even being far from Lotus Pier saves him from these particular nightmares. He feels hollow inside, his dream filled with the snap of whips, the feeling of his power and strength being drained, the shouts of his brother and sister when they learned the truth. His vision had been coloured with blood and blackness and he can't stay wrapped up with his husband when his heart is aching like this. He slips away, sneaking out of the warm embrace and goes to sit on the awning, staring at the rain as he smacks down against the hanshi.
Meditation doesn't often work for him but he tries, lifting his head, only vaguely aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. ]
[ Often, Jin Guangyao is asked how he got to the position that he is in, how he reached so high when it had seemed so out of reach once.
Ironically, it feels like a staircase. He had taken it step by step, clawing his way up until his nails were bloody and he was exhausted; he had scraped his body off the ground where his father had abandoned him and risen to stand tall, clad in golds and bounty, the leader of a Sect that had once shamed and abandoned him. He had all that he could have ever wished for those many years ago when his mother had been all he had. His only desire was that things were tweaked, things were changed, that some things were different.
The way that er-ge looks at him is one of those things. The loss of da-ge - that would be something he would undo if he could, if da-ge had seen what was in front of him instead of only looking at the past. If his da-ge had trusted him a little more, seen the world differently, perhaps Guangyao would not have been backed into a corner of hurt and rage and anger. He had adored his Sect leader once, would have died for him (almost had); but words cannot always be undone. Actions often speak louder. A thousand things he had learned in a whorehouse, a dozen things he learned from whispered words and hisses behind his back.
He steps away from the people working on the temple now, walks around to stand somewhere alone for a moment, letting isolation envelop him as he slips hands into his sleeves. It won't be long now until more and more catch up with him, until Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and even, perhaps, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling come stalking down the pathways to find him - unless Su She was entirely successful.
Head tilting, just a little, he hears steps and he turns his head, he smile softening into something gentle and familiar. ]
[for a man known for serenity, for being the walking embodiment of the ideals of gusu lan, lan xichen feels like it's been years since he's felt the peace and stillness in his heart that his sect is known for; that he has cultivated, holds dear.
it has not been so long, he knows, but the whirlwind of wei wuxian's return has catalyzed a span of events that could have lasted years. it is better that it has not stretched that length of time, if wei wuxian is right, but the heaviness and dread that has seeped deep into his bones are feelings he wishes so dearly to be rid of. they are a wave that have crashed into him, washed away comforts.
it is not fair, he knows, to wish them gone. he has been so lucky, even with the hardships and loss in his life. he has had support, had been blessed enough to have mingjue and then meng yao as pillars of support. he's been lucky to know them, to be known.
but that is the problem, if what wangji believes to be true is. xichen does not trust wei wuxian wholly, will never for all that he has done, but too many things have happened for him not to need answers. so, he leaves to guanyin temple to seek his answers, to speak to the man he knows and trusts. perhaps there is reason to this.
he has not been blind to what meng yao has done throughout the years, but each action has been a response to antagonism he's faced or presented with reason. xichen would never have offered his support if he did not see the benefit, the balance. he will not brand the other man a liar, not until he has that admissions or an explanation before him. xichen hopes he gets the latter, for the accusations behind his questions are far more serious than the ones which lead a-yao to return his token.
the sight that finds him at the temple does not put him at ease; the monks are set about tasks that do not account for the maintenance or building of a temple. they lead him to where their master waits, turned away.
and when he turns, xichen's heart skips. this is his sworn bother, a man he knows. and yet--] A-Yao. What is all this?
[the halls of qinghe are far from unfamiliar, though xichen has not walked through them with comfort and ease in some time. the spaces which once provided only peace and a sense of belonging outside of the walls of cloud recess now fill with unease, as each time he and mingjue spend time together alone the currents of underlying tension rise to the surface.
it is like they have begun to speak a different language, fallen out of sync for the first time since their youth.
any mention of a-yao and it all falls apart, direct or indirect.
xichen has always considered himself a fair man, one who learns and understands people's motivations. his gift, though some could consider it his curse and gusu lan's treasure, is that he is able to find balance, peace, and diffuse any situation. he lives in a state where the scales do not tip, cannot come crashing down.
the venerated triad had been an effort to do just that, even at the expense of himself as he still worked to maintain peace within it. even at the expense of the strain that it put on mingjue and himself. between the three of them, if they could manage it, there was an opportunity for a stronger peace for the cultivation world. there was a chance, with guangyao learning the play clarity that mingjue's anger could be kept at bay when xichen was not there to guide him back from the storm.
it's a foolish thought now.
he knows he was not meant to hear the song that his younger sworn brother taught huaisang, because he wasn't meant to be here in the unclean realm at all. it's chance, pure luck. it's because he did not wish to have the conversation he and mingjue needed to have with parchment and ink.
walking down the halls from the room where hauisang played him the twisted tune, the notes of which had left xichen so jarred and ill-at-ease, he is glad that they had not had it. that since his arrival the previous evening, there has been a fragile peace and their affections have not been forced.
he plays the song over in his mind as he walks toward mingjue's chambers, knows that it is likely he will find them empty still. xichen's visit was unplanned, so there had been little time to put certain duties aside. he's right, when he enters the familiar rooms and finds mingjue has not returned. it gives him time to center his thoughts, to lose himself in the task of preparing tea and sorting through the turmoil that this new knowledge brings.
this song, whatever it is, is not clarity. he cannot discern the purpose of it, fractured as he feels, but he knows that with his affinity toward music that whatever it is is not a mistake.]
It's been difficult for him to be otherwise; the way that he cultivates has always been something dangerous, something that burns through him and leaves him something of a husk on the inside. That hasn't changed over the last few months, even with the realisation that so many things have changed and are going wrong, the knowledge that he has been fighting against what feels like an impossible foe. Xichen's belief in people is as strong as Mingjue's desire for justice, and there's no escaping that.
Discussing Meng Yao has become a new trigger for him, and it burns inside of him in an angry, irritated way, because he wants to be proven right.
He has been trying to force Meng Yao back onto the path of righteousness with sheer strength of will, but none of it had worked. He knows that his partner - beyond brother, no matter what the world thinks - still has faith in Meng Yao, had been teaching him so that he could help with Mingjue's anger, but none of it feels right. Nothing feels right inside of him; there's a knot inside of him that feels as though it's being pulled out of him.
It's not to say that he's been avoiding Xichen since some of his own anger and frustration has burned through him, but he has not been making it easy, either. He's hurt and angry, feeling on the brink of betrayal despite the fact that he knows just how warm and kind Xichen is. His advisors and elders are breathing down his neck about settling down and making things comfortable, of what Qinghe Nie needs to do next to stay on the main stage, and he feels overwhelmed.
All of it is giving him a headache.
When he storms out of his offices and back to his chambers he pushes open the door with a sharp snap. When he steps in and sees Xichen he freezes in the frame, his eyes narrowing for a moment - and it looks like he is ready to immediately turn around and walk in the other direction. ]
It was a trinket. Just some trinket that Jiang Cheng barely touched and knocked aside so it wouldn't hit Jin Ling as they ran out of the temple. There had been no effects that he had been aware of then. Not were there any effects as time passed.
When he had heard that Lan Xichen had finally started to leave seclusion, a repentance for his crimes, he had gone to discuss how to best reintegrate the sect leader back into the world. At Wei Wuxian's plea. Well. He said that he trusted Jiang Cheng to be gentle with Lan Xichen and understanding as opposed to any of the other sect leaders. Fine.
He takes a week to go to the Cloud Recesses, walked up to the Hanshi to greet him. The low rumble of Lan Xichen's voice greeting him did something...funny to his insides. Jiang Cheng brushes it aside. As they get Lan Xichen more used to being around people beyond Lan disciples and Jiang Cheng spends more time with him, there's more...strange instances of hot fissures down his spine whenever Lan Xichen says his name.
No matter.
They're finally on a night hunt. He, Lan Xichen, Sizhui, Jingyi, and even Jin Ling had come to spend time with the Lan juniors. With the children wandering off, Jiang Cheng squirms. Heat keeps seeping through his bones and nerves whenever Lan Xichen speaks. He tries to keep it discreet by not looking at him or paying him any true mind and thanking his robes for being thick enough to hide his hardness.
Xichen isn't quite sure he's ready for a night hunt. It's only been a few weeks since he's accepted visitors, less since he'd agreed to meet with someone from outside his sect.
While not formally a member of Gusu Lan, Wei Wuxian does not count. The man had joined Wangji in his visits and, surprisingly, did remarkably well to ease the tension that Xichen knew his younger brother felt when it came to Xichen's own insistence on the terms of him re-entering the cultivation world. Wangji wished to do more, Xichen did not want his brother shouldering this burden on top of his duties as Chief Cultivator.
He had not expected that the solution they'd settled on was Jiang Wanyin.
Xichen had been surprised when the man showed up at the door step of his home, but he does not regret allowing him inside.
Since then, a friendship had bloomed and Xichen can't deny that he enjoys the other mans company. He is grateful for it, even though he sometimes feel like he's a burden. He is not the same man that went into seclusion, feels less in control of himself even as he steps out into the world.
The night hunt isn't a terrible idea, not when they take a small group and the disciples they bring are mostly family. Jingyi is Sizhui's best friend and Xichen played a part in raising the boy all the same. He watches as the youths wander, searching for a spot to settle for the night and to make sure that there is nothing that would attack them nearby. He is unaware of Jiang Wanyin's plight, though in recent days has noticed that the man has started to tense when he says his name. He hopes that he's not doing something to strain their friendship, that Wanyin has not decided he is a lost cause.
Still, Sandu Shengshou is an honest man and Xichen hopes he would tell him if that was the case. He is so tired of being lied to.
"They'll be alright, Wanyin. Between the three of them, they're capable, and Sizhui would not hesitate to call for help if it is needed," he says with a soft smile, glancing at the younger man.
Some days, Lan Xichen simply feels tired. He does not show it; not while he listens to those who seek counsel from the Gusu Lan Sect Leader and ask for the clan's assistance. Not while he writes responses to correspondences or spends an afternoon checking to see that disciples are being taught proper forms in their sword techniques. He certainly does not let his shoulders sag when he takes his nephew to the bunny pasture, nor in the evening when he's helped little Lan Yuan properly write out characters for a poem he wishes to read out to his father.
He does not waiver when he visits Wangji, who's still unable to sit and only shows his discomfort as the wounds on his back refuse to close in front of the older brother who allowed them to be put there. Nor as he sits with his sworn brothers and manages to ease the tension between them, A-Yao's strained smile and the suspicious glint in Da-ge's gaze.
He stands tall, a pillar of calm and clarity even within the confines of his home which are now both Sect Leaders quarters and play room for a growing toddler. There is no time, no opportunity to let the mask he wears crack or slip away. The cultivation world is only beginning to recover, the balance is fragile and any wrong move could cause it slip into despair.
There is no time to feel tired.
And yet, the reality of the situation is not one he can ignore. He is on the edge of something, a tipping point. He is a man stretched thin, carrying burdens he did not anticipate. He may seem like he is doing so with grace, he knows, but it is a matter of time before the illusion breaks. The First Jade of Lan is only a man, after all. He is not carved of stone, cold and unfeeling as he carries the responsibilities he was born to shoulder.
He is war-seasoned, has seen more in his lifetime than he hopes his nephew will have to bear, but he is still a man. One that needs people at that, needs the kindness and warmth where he can let the mask of Zewu-jun slip away and be Xichen; Lan Huan even. For a moment, just a moment and the scales won't tip.
I have received an appeal from a village in the north of Gusu, where a creature has made it's home and is disturbing the hot springs which are the source of the town's livelihood. They've asked for two cultivators to assist them. Would you be willing to join me, my heart? It's been months since we have had the chance to go on a night hunt together.
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(frozen comment) open prompts
for lan wanji:
→ during school years, lxc finds lwj upset after wwx has been kicked out of classes. lxc doesn't mean to meddle, but he hopes he can help his brother see why.
→ post-canon, lxc has entered seclusion and intends to remain there no matter how much his brother is trying to involve and ask his opinion on sect duties.
→ lxc is marrying someone, what would lwj's reaction be.
→ i just love any brotherly moments between them, so feel free to suggest.
for wei wuxian:
→ lxc in seclusion, wwx has taken to visiting him. lxc is not sure why until he realizes that he's being asked for advice to court his brother.
→ canon divergent: lwj dies at nightless city, lxc takes wwx back to cloud recess like his brother would have wanted. to keep him from getting killed, he marries him with the requirement that he cannot leave cloud recess. maybe they develop genuine feelings for each other? either way it's messy. then, surprise, lwj is brought back.
→ any awkward in-law moments welcome.
for lan sizhui:
→ moments between nephew & uncle, lxc did help raise him while lwj was in seclusion. also, technically, he is the sect heir so lxc has a lot to teach him.
for nie mingjue ♥︎♥︎♥︎:
→ awkward first times? lxc very lovingly taking nmj apart? learning what they like together?
→ school day romance when they are students or just as they grow up together.
→ arranged marriage au before the events of cql/mdzs flashbacks happen. how would that work with two sect leaders/sect leader & sect heir.
→ what if nmj had lived and jgy hadn't managed to make him qi deviate? or somehow, they caught on? what would it be like if they got to be together through wwx's return.
→ modern au: establish relationship, talking about adding in someone new.
→ give me a marriage night.
→ abo au: alpha nmj and beta lxc -- would that be a struggle when nmj was expected to take an omega bride?
→ the last time they see each other, lxc tells nmj he loves him.
for nie huaisang:
→ mourning mingjue together
→ after mingjue's death, there's still an arranged marriage between the nie and lan sects to honor.
for jiang cheng ♥︎♥︎♥︎:
→ jc comes to cloud recess with a marriage proposal. the jiang sect elders are getting more insistent and there is no way that zewu jun would accept. it would be the last straw, then it would even be an embarrassment for the elders to insist. that is fine. it is the perfect plan. only... lxc doesn't say no.
→ a few years after nevernight, the jiang and lan sect enter an arranged marriage.
for jin guangyao:
→ mourning the death of jgy's son.
→ staying with meng yao in the brothel after cloud recess burned, trust is formed.
let me know if this start works for you <3
They both needed it.
Especially now that the teen was expected to be sect leader. Jiang Cheng knows of the weight that has on a teenager. He made sure that the teen was ready to take on the mantle of Sect Leader before they returned to Lanling. There was pomp and circumstance and he had heard the rumor --okay, he had heard Ouyang Zizhen discuss it with Jin Ling-- that Zewu Jun had locked himself into seclusion.
Wordlessly, as soon as the festivities were over, Jiang Cheng made the journey out to Gusu, to Cloud Recesses, where he hadn't stepped foot in since he himself was Jin Ling's age. A glower at a disciple allowed him entry and he demanded that they led him up to where Zewu Jun was hiding himself away from the world.
Another glower and the disciple scurried away. Jiang Cheng stood before the Hanshi and gripped his sword.
"Zewu Jun."
Jiang Cheng didn't exactly shout at the Hanshi. He remembered the rule of not raising one's voice or some noise such as that. But it certainly breaks the quiet that surrounded the residence.
Re: let me know if this start works for you <3
His seclusion is a withdrawal from society, a step back from duties and responsibilities to reflect. He is not unlike his father, though the difference is that Qingheng Jun had withdrawn after heartbreak. There are whispers that Zewu Jun has abandoned his sect out of more selfish reasons, because he was a fool who had been blind as he helped a wolf lead the sheep to slaughter. Xichen has not heard them himself, of course, but he knows that the gentry clans can be far from kind.
His duties have fallen to his Uncle, for his brother has stepped into the shoes of Chief Cultivator. His nephew is traveling and Xichen has yet broached the topic of his secession with the boy. His father is the first obstacle, after all.
So.
That leaves him to spend his days within the four walls of his self-picked prison, with the windows shut now that the summer has given way to fall and the rains have come.
Dressed in only one layer on top of his inner robes, Xichen's hair is pulled back in a plait that lays down his back, his forehead ribbon the only adornment he has worn in -- he is not sure how much time has passed.
He is expecting the quiet sound of footsteps outside his door, of a junior disciple placing a tray of food outside the door. That's not what greets his ears at all, instead it is the sound of stomping and hushed voices insisting that 'Zewu Jun is not to be disturbed!' to someone new.
Oh.
Ohohohoh.
That is also not who he expects at all, outside his door.
By the conditions he has set for himself, Xichen has only seen his Uncle and Brother. He should certainly not open the door when he hears Jiang Wanyin call out his name. He should remain where he is, seated in a failed attempt at meditation. He should. And yet-- he is sliding the door open before he realizes it, heart pounding in his chest.
"Sect Leader Jiang?" he asks, aware -- all too late -- of his state of dress and how hoarse his voice sounds.
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~violetson | no distance between us
Anticipation flows freely through Lan Xichen, mirroring the currents that guide his boat down one of the long rivers from Gusu to Yunmeng's shores. The water flows quickly, then lulls, and picks up speed again. Xichen feels his heart fluttering in his chest each time the waters shift, as the distance between him and his destination grows ever smaller. Seated under the wooden canopy, protected from the winds by talismans and sturdy walls, he smoothes out the fabric of his robes and rests them in his lap. If the two disciples he brought with him think to comment on the fact that there are no creases in the grey fabric embroidered in navy, they know better that to comment on that or the fact that he has smoothed the creases only moments before.
Few things make Zewu-Jun nervous, a handful more cannot be concealed behind Lan Xichen's practiced and polite smile. Xichen, though that is the name he thinks of himself as out of habit, does not feel like either of those men. It is Lan Huan who learned what love meant from his mother, who as a young man barely past his youth had given his heart to another. He had done so again, only to watch that man marry and to learn that his love had blinded him to so much.
He is certain, that he should not be worrying about matters of the heart. Jiang Wanyin had made it seem that their professional relationship would not go unchanged. For that to happen, no matter how pleasant the visit will be, then nothing between them must change. He will leave as he came, though perhaps bearing marks that will remind him what could have been. Perhaps without his dignity in tact, though he is not sure what he has to lose given how much of himself he has bared without letting Jiang Wanyin see all of him.
So, he schools his features into a practiced smile as Lotus Pier comes into view. Pushing himself to his feet, stead as the current slows but treacherous heart continues to hammer on, Lan Xichen stands and watches the bustling pier draw nearer. It is a wonderful sight, the bustle and commotion he is unfamiliar with so high upon his mountain in the clouds, livelier than anything he has seen since his re-emergence into the world.
The two disciples with him, accompanying their Sect Leader on unofficial business, when the Grandmaster would not allow him to go alone, slow the tempo of their oars. Xichen has attended one conference since his reemergence to society, one that he hosted within the walls of his home. Surprising as it had been, fruitful in that it had lead him down the floating rivers to Yunmeng, it was not a true leap into the world.
Here, now, as he starts to make out figures on the wooden pier, Xichen think it's appropriate that this is his first venture beyond Cloud Recess's walls. He is here in an unofficial capacity, chaperoned until he crosses the threshold of Lotus Pier's gates, but then left to indulge and enjoy in the company of Lotus Pier's master. If, in the end, he leaves with heart bruised but bite marks on his skin, he can have some small tokens as he retreats behind the safe walls of the Hanshi and claims that he is not ready for the world.
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While Jiang Cheng always looked forward to the festival, the excitement in his chest wholly belonged to their eventual guest. Though, excitement might have been too generous of a word; the rousing sensations running through his veins were a complicated mixture of anxiety, hope, fear, and want. Anxious, for what Lan Xichen would think of Lotus Pier, and if it would be worthy of being his first destination after emerging from seclusion. Hope, for what was to come between them, and fear that their ideas of it would not match. Want, for what Jiang Cheng had promised over late-night messages, but could not provide when they’d seen each other last. The day after the meeting, he had quickly left the mountains of Gusu after a small thank you for the hospitality and a terse farewell to his host.
Jiang Cheng had long since outgrown his carefree school boy days, and with it, any leniency for allowing his emotions to show on his sleeve; the face he wears now is void of any telltale signs of the turbulence within. He is Sandu Shengshou, after all. A man who rightfully earned the terrified respect of the other sects- A man whose mere existence stood as a defense from any potential threat that might one day arise. From the ruins of Lotus Pier, he rebuilt his home and reputation with his bare hands, while grief and loss sat heavy on his scarred back. How troublesome it would be to have his silly little crush on the one man he did not deserve break through his carefully crafted steel façade. (What he tries not to think about is that no matter how stalwart he stands, gentle pink lotus petals always follow near.)
A disciple entered the Sword Hall to tell his Jiang-zongzhu that a boat was sighted on Lotus Lake and was approaching the dock. Jiang Cheng stiffened, barked orders to have all the rooms checked and cleaned for the fifth time that day, and stood from his throne to walk toward the water and greet his guest. Each wooden plank creaked under his boots as he tread quickly along the dock, and he requested the disciple following him have them reinforced by nightfall in an effort to be rid of his tail. Once he found himself alone, he stole a quick glance at the reflection of himself in the water, and adjusted his bun, his robes- then his bun again. One last deep breath as the boat docked before him, his gaze lifted to meet the eyes of Zewu-Jun and his attempt to clear his throat turned into a clumsy sputter. Jiang Cheng apologized, stepped right to the very lip of the bow and outstretched his arm, with an open hand for the other man to take. The thin line his lips are pressed into curled into a small smile, unable to hide his delight as he greeted him.
“Lan Xichen, I’m glad you’ve made it to Yunmeng safely. Allow me to welcome you to Lotus Pier.”
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@ downswing | tfln continued
There is no need for thanks, little brother. I am being selfish.
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@ markyourwords | tfln continued
That is an extremely motivating deterrent. You could achieve the same with practice and more handstands.
Of course, Wangji. It is the lease I could do.
I have not found one I favor. Do you have suggestions that will brighten this mood?
NICE
You offer the best advice, I just do not wish to know how you learnt it.
I best at writing Haiku's but otherwise I prefer poems that inspire feeling. Other suggestions? Perhaps we could eat together more often?
Re: NICE
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marrieds au. post sunshot? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they're in love
Nie Mingjue took almost too much pleasure in subverting their expectations and following his heart. It was not necessarily the Nie way, given their history, but it was to be his way.
He and Xichen had known each other long enough for him to feel at first comfortable with him and then more, seeking his company at conferences he hated, spending time whispering to him when everyone else bored or irritated him. It wasn't that Nie Mingjue had intolerably short patience - he was particularly good at managing it when necessary - but he simply did not see the need to waste his time on things less worthwhile. It quickly became obvious to him just how worthwhile Lan Xichen was, not just as a friend but as a companion, someone he could trust to keep his secrets.
Time went on and they grew closer and Xichen stole his heart as surely as he had stolen his laughter, his time, his energy and more. He wanted to spend more time with him, wanted to be in his company, and after the needling and badgering of Huaisang, one of the few who could read him like an open book, he had attempted a courtship. One that had been successful, if their more recent bows were any measure to judge by. He can still remember how it felt to see Xichen in red and gold, to stand at his side and bow, to feel overwhelmed by the notion of belonging.
Now he is able to slip away from frustrating meetings and dodging Huaisang's requests for more inks or brushes or fans, slipping into a quiet side room of their accommodations to reach out and wrap arms around Xichen from behind, letting his head rest against the other's gently. It's enough to calm his frustrations and he sighs gently, some tension bleeding from his shoulders. Anger and upset is something to be well aware of as a Nie, but that is far from his mind right now.
"A-Huan. I'm back."
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Lans only love once, love deeply. His Uncle warns him that it can consume, can ruin. Lan Huan fears love until he meets a boy who is his elder, who is brash but loyal, tempered but cares so deeply for those he holds dear. The fear dissipates as both he and that boy grow into men, as each steps into the role of Sect Leader far too soon. Conferences seemed easier in Nie Mingjue's company, worries of short-comings fell aside as they spoke of worries and secrets that should not be shared between men who were merely allies.
It not come as a complete surprise, then, when Mingjue had come not to solely visit him in Cloud Recess but to first speak with his Uncle. He felt more like anxious ward, hovering outside the door to the Yashi than a Sect Leader with the right to enter if he pleased.
There had been no need to worry, in the end. A union between Gusu Lan and Qinghe Nie was fortunate, no Elder could argue with that, and in the end their courtship endured a war and the aftermath of it. The complications of Sect matters were discussed and dealt with, their time split equally and matters of succession discussed; though in truth Xichen has the luxury of his Uncle, which allows him more leave of Cloud Recess than Mingjue can spare from the Unclean Realm. Those worries had been far from Xichen's mind on their wedding day, as he watched his husband in fine silks dyed red wearing a smile he wished to preserve for the rest of the ages.
Most worries are far from Xichen's mind now, though there are plenty that could call his thoughts away, as he stands in the library adjoining their main chamber in the Unclean Realm. He's reaching for a book on the shelf when strong hands wrap around his waist and he drops his own to cover them, gently resting his palms over Mingjue's forearms. "Welcome home, my love," he leans back into him, enjoying the warmth and scent of oils that clings Mingjue's skin - his own influence. He turns his head, pressing his lips to Mingjue's cheeks. "I was worried I would soon be forced to scandalize the Elders and pull you away from your duties."
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~stairkick | tfln overflow
Then what path do we take?
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~nieviation | tfln overflow
Greedy as my heart is, I will wait as long as it takes.
I know what keeps you is important.
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~fennu | marriage, nightmares and seeing the soft, tender parts
the hanshi is quiet through the evening as he and jiang cheng share their dinner, tired for a long day. the rain grows heavier, thunder rumbles in the distance. even used to the storms, it makes xichen uneasy as they get ready to retire to bed. their marriage contract outlines that they spend equal time between cloud recess and lotus pier, but xichen thinks that perhaps with time they should adjust to spend winters and springs in yunmeng instead of in the mountains.
he is ill-prepared for yunmeng's summer heat, perhaps less so than his husband was for the darkness of winters in cloud recess.
the storm that fateful night at guanyin temple had been stronger than this, at least. he hopes that it will settle, dissipate and allow them to have a quiet night.
despite the storm outside, the hanshi is warm and the air between them is comfortable. while they are still learning the ins and outs of married life, it feels natural. not necessarily easy, no, but there is no other that xichen wants to tread this path with.
sleep comes easy when they're settled in bed, limbs loosely intertwined because even after a lifetime of sleeping on his back it had been easy to adjust to sharing the bed. it is large enough for them to have their space, but in the night they always shift together.
the opposite is what wakes him, the lack of jiang cheng's warmth pressed against him moments before thunder clashes overhead, drowns out all other noise and shakes the room.]
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He liked to be needed by his people.
With his letters, reports and missives to guide him he is still able to take care of his Sect even from the towering mountains of Gusu. He likes it here, likes the quiet and the softness of it - and, of course, he likes that it means he can spend as many hours as there are in a day with his husband. It has been an adjustment, adapting his living to having someone else with him almost all the time, but it's one Jiang Cheng had been content to do. He's never felt this kind of happiness before, and the fact that a-Huan still wants him in his life, still wants him to be at his side, makes him feel more comfortable and happy than he has been in years.
It doesn't take long for them to settle into bed, to move in and curl up close to the warmth of his partner, and he slips into sleep as easily as he has done in the past. The mountain air is soothing - different from the smell of lotus and water, but nice enough - and Jiang Cheng settles; he settles for long enough that it comes as a surprise when he wakes up with a sharp gasp.
The rain always makes his mind drift back to the day that he lost his parents and it seems not even being far from Lotus Pier saves him from these particular nightmares. He feels hollow inside, his dream filled with the snap of whips, the feeling of his power and strength being drained, the shouts of his brother and sister when they learned the truth. His vision had been coloured with blood and blackness and he can't stay wrapped up with his husband when his heart is aching like this. He slips away, sneaking out of the warm embrace and goes to sit on the awning, staring at the rain as he smacks down against the hanshi.
Meditation doesn't often work for him but he tries, lifting his head, only vaguely aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. ]
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pain | guanyin temple vibes; angst; anger; sorry xichen
Ironically, it feels like a staircase. He had taken it step by step, clawing his way up until his nails were bloody and he was exhausted; he had scraped his body off the ground where his father had abandoned him and risen to stand tall, clad in golds and bounty, the leader of a Sect that had once shamed and abandoned him. He had all that he could have ever wished for those many years ago when his mother had been all he had. His only desire was that things were tweaked, things were changed, that some things were different.
The way that er-ge looks at him is one of those things. The loss of da-ge - that would be something he would undo if he could, if da-ge had seen what was in front of him instead of only looking at the past. If his da-ge had trusted him a little more, seen the world differently, perhaps Guangyao would not have been backed into a corner of hurt and rage and anger. He had adored his Sect leader once, would have died for him (almost had); but words cannot always be undone. Actions often speak louder. A thousand things he had learned in a whorehouse, a dozen things he learned from whispered words and hisses behind his back.
He steps away from the people working on the temple now, walks around to stand somewhere alone for a moment, letting isolation envelop him as he slips hands into his sleeves. It won't be long now until more and more catch up with him, until Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and even, perhaps, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling come stalking down the pathways to find him - unless Su She was entirely successful.
Head tilting, just a little, he hears steps and he turns his head, he smile softening into something gentle and familiar. ]
Er-ge.
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it has not been so long, he knows, but the whirlwind of wei wuxian's return has catalyzed a span of events that could have lasted years. it is better that it has not stretched that length of time, if wei wuxian is right, but the heaviness and dread that has seeped deep into his bones are feelings he wishes so dearly to be rid of. they are a wave that have crashed into him, washed away comforts.
it is not fair, he knows, to wish them gone. he has been so lucky, even with the hardships and loss in his life. he has had support, had been blessed enough to have mingjue and then meng yao as pillars of support. he's been lucky to know them, to be known.
but that is the problem, if what wangji believes to be true is. xichen does not trust wei wuxian wholly, will never for all that he has done, but too many things have happened for him not to need answers. so, he leaves to guanyin temple to seek his answers, to speak to the man he knows and trusts. perhaps there is reason to this.
he has not been blind to what meng yao has done throughout the years, but each action has been a response to antagonism he's faced or presented with reason. xichen would never have offered his support if he did not see the benefit, the balance. he will not brand the other man a liar, not until he has that admissions or an explanation before him. xichen hopes he gets the latter, for the accusations behind his questions are far more serious than the ones which lead a-yao to return his token.
the sight that finds him at the temple does not put him at ease; the monks are set about tasks that do not account for the maintenance or building of a temple. they lead him to where their master waits, turned away.
and when he turns, xichen's heart skips. this is his sworn bother, a man he knows. and yet--] A-Yao. What is all this?
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~nieviation | a twist of fate
it is like they have begun to speak a different language, fallen out of sync for the first time since their youth.
any mention of a-yao and it all falls apart, direct or indirect.
xichen has always considered himself a fair man, one who learns and understands people's motivations. his gift, though some could consider it his curse and gusu lan's treasure, is that he is able to find balance, peace, and diffuse any situation. he lives in a state where the scales do not tip, cannot come crashing down.
the venerated triad had been an effort to do just that, even at the expense of himself as he still worked to maintain peace within it. even at the expense of the strain that it put on mingjue and himself. between the three of them, if they could manage it, there was an opportunity for a stronger peace for the cultivation world. there was a chance, with guangyao learning the play clarity that mingjue's anger could be kept at bay when xichen was not there to guide him back from the storm.
it's a foolish thought now.
he knows he was not meant to hear the song that his younger sworn brother taught huaisang, because he wasn't meant to be here in the unclean realm at all. it's chance, pure luck. it's because he did not wish to have the conversation he and mingjue needed to have with parchment and ink.
walking down the halls from the room where hauisang played him the twisted tune, the notes of which had left xichen so jarred and ill-at-ease, he is glad that they had not had it. that since his arrival the previous evening, there has been a fragile peace and their affections have not been forced.
he plays the song over in his mind as he walks toward mingjue's chambers, knows that it is likely he will find them empty still. xichen's visit was unplanned, so there had been little time to put certain duties aside. he's right, when he enters the familiar rooms and finds mingjue has not returned. it gives him time to center his thoughts, to lose himself in the task of preparing tea and sorting through the turmoil that this new knowledge brings.
this song, whatever it is, is not clarity. he cannot discern the purpose of it, fractured as he feels, but he knows that with his affinity toward music that whatever it is is not a mistake.]
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It's been difficult for him to be otherwise; the way that he cultivates has always been something dangerous, something that burns through him and leaves him something of a husk on the inside. That hasn't changed over the last few months, even with the realisation that so many things have changed and are going wrong, the knowledge that he has been fighting against what feels like an impossible foe. Xichen's belief in people is as strong as Mingjue's desire for justice, and there's no escaping that.
Discussing Meng Yao has become a new trigger for him, and it burns inside of him in an angry, irritated way, because he wants to be proven right.
He has been trying to force Meng Yao back onto the path of righteousness with sheer strength of will, but none of it had worked. He knows that his partner - beyond brother, no matter what the world thinks - still has faith in Meng Yao, had been teaching him so that he could help with Mingjue's anger, but none of it feels right. Nothing feels right inside of him; there's a knot inside of him that feels as though it's being pulled out of him.
It's not to say that he's been avoiding Xichen since some of his own anger and frustration has burned through him, but he has not been making it easy, either. He's hurt and angry, feeling on the brink of betrayal despite the fact that he knows just how warm and kind Xichen is. His advisors and elders are breathing down his neck about settling down and making things comfortable, of what Qinghe Nie needs to do next to stay on the main stage, and he feels overwhelmed.
All of it is giving him a headache.
When he storms out of his offices and back to his chambers he pushes open the door with a sharp snap. When he steps in and sees Xichen he freezes in the frame, his eyes narrowing for a moment - and it looks like he is ready to immediately turn around and walk in the other direction. ]
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cursed objects
When he had heard that Lan Xichen had finally started to leave seclusion, a repentance for his crimes, he had gone to discuss how to best reintegrate the sect leader back into the world. At Wei Wuxian's plea. Well. He said that he trusted Jiang Cheng to be gentle with Lan Xichen and understanding as opposed to any of the other sect leaders. Fine.
He takes a week to go to the Cloud Recesses, walked up to the Hanshi to greet him. The low rumble of Lan Xichen's voice greeting him did something...funny to his insides. Jiang Cheng brushes it aside. As they get Lan Xichen more used to being around people beyond Lan disciples and Jiang Cheng spends more time with him, there's more...strange instances of hot fissures down his spine whenever Lan Xichen says his name.
No matter.
They're finally on a night hunt. He, Lan Xichen, Sizhui, Jingyi, and even Jin Ling had come to spend time with the Lan juniors. With the children wandering off, Jiang Cheng squirms. Heat keeps seeping through his bones and nerves whenever Lan Xichen speaks. He tries to keep it discreet by not looking at him or paying him any true mind and thanking his robes for being thick enough to hide his hardness.
"They shouldn't wander too far," he huffs.
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While not formally a member of Gusu Lan, Wei Wuxian does not count. The man had joined Wangji in his visits and, surprisingly, did remarkably well to ease the tension that Xichen knew his younger brother felt when it came to Xichen's own insistence on the terms of him re-entering the cultivation world. Wangji wished to do more, Xichen did not want his brother shouldering this burden on top of his duties as Chief Cultivator.
He had not expected that the solution they'd settled on was Jiang Wanyin.
Xichen had been surprised when the man showed up at the door step of his home, but he does not regret allowing him inside.
Since then, a friendship had bloomed and Xichen can't deny that he enjoys the other mans company. He is grateful for it, even though he sometimes feel like he's a burden. He is not the same man that went into seclusion, feels less in control of himself even as he steps out into the world.
The night hunt isn't a terrible idea, not when they take a small group and the disciples they bring are mostly family. Jingyi is Sizhui's best friend and Xichen played a part in raising the boy all the same. He watches as the youths wander, searching for a spot to settle for the night and to make sure that there is nothing that would attack them nearby. He is unaware of Jiang Wanyin's plight, though in recent days has noticed that the man has started to tense when he says his name. He hopes that he's not doing something to strain their friendship, that Wanyin has not decided he is a lost cause.
Still, Sandu Shengshou is an honest man and Xichen hopes he would tell him if that was the case. He is so tired of being lied to.
"They'll be alright, Wanyin. Between the three of them, they're capable, and Sizhui would not hesitate to call for help if it is needed," he says with a soft smile, glancing at the younger man.
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lan xichen | introspection
He does not waiver when he visits Wangji, who's still unable to sit and only shows his discomfort as the wounds on his back refuse to close in front of the older brother who allowed them to be put there. Nor as he sits with his sworn brothers and manages to ease the tension between them, A-Yao's strained smile and the suspicious glint in Da-ge's gaze.
He stands tall, a pillar of calm and clarity even within the confines of his home which are now both Sect Leaders quarters and play room for a growing toddler. There is no time, no opportunity to let the mask he wears crack or slip away. The cultivation world is only beginning to recover, the balance is fragile and any wrong move could cause it slip into despair.
There is no time to feel tired.
And yet, the reality of the situation is not one he can ignore. He is on the edge of something, a tipping point. He is a man stretched thin, carrying burdens he did not anticipate. He may seem like he is doing so with grace, he knows, but it is a matter of time before the illusion breaks. The First Jade of Lan is only a man, after all. He is not carved of stone, cold and unfeeling as he carries the responsibilities he was born to shoulder.
He is war-seasoned, has seen more in his lifetime than he hopes his nephew will have to bear, but he is still a man. One that needs people at that, needs the kindness and warmth where he can let the mask of Zewu-jun slip away and be Xichen; Lan Huan even. For a moment, just a moment and the scales won't tip.
~fennu | birthday planning?
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