[for a man known for serenity, for being the walking embodiment of the ideals of gusu lan, lan xichen feels like it's been years since he's felt the peace and stillness in his heart that his sect is known for; that he has cultivated, holds dear.
it has not been so long, he knows, but the whirlwind of wei wuxian's return has catalyzed a span of events that could have lasted years. it is better that it has not stretched that length of time, if wei wuxian is right, but the heaviness and dread that has seeped deep into his bones are feelings he wishes so dearly to be rid of. they are a wave that have crashed into him, washed away comforts.
it is not fair, he knows, to wish them gone. he has been so lucky, even with the hardships and loss in his life. he has had support, had been blessed enough to have mingjue and then meng yao as pillars of support. he's been lucky to know them, to be known.
but that is the problem, if what wangji believes to be true is. xichen does not trust wei wuxian wholly, will never for all that he has done, but too many things have happened for him not to need answers. so, he leaves to guanyin temple to seek his answers, to speak to the man he knows and trusts. perhaps there is reason to this.
he has not been blind to what meng yao has done throughout the years, but each action has been a response to antagonism he's faced or presented with reason. xichen would never have offered his support if he did not see the benefit, the balance. he will not brand the other man a liar, not until he has that admissions or an explanation before him. xichen hopes he gets the latter, for the accusations behind his questions are far more serious than the ones which lead a-yao to return his token.
the sight that finds him at the temple does not put him at ease; the monks are set about tasks that do not account for the maintenance or building of a temple. they lead him to where their master waits, turned away.
and when he turns, xichen's heart skips. this is his sworn bother, a man he knows. and yet--] A-Yao. What is all this?
no subject
it has not been so long, he knows, but the whirlwind of wei wuxian's return has catalyzed a span of events that could have lasted years. it is better that it has not stretched that length of time, if wei wuxian is right, but the heaviness and dread that has seeped deep into his bones are feelings he wishes so dearly to be rid of. they are a wave that have crashed into him, washed away comforts.
it is not fair, he knows, to wish them gone. he has been so lucky, even with the hardships and loss in his life. he has had support, had been blessed enough to have mingjue and then meng yao as pillars of support. he's been lucky to know them, to be known.
but that is the problem, if what wangji believes to be true is. xichen does not trust wei wuxian wholly, will never for all that he has done, but too many things have happened for him not to need answers. so, he leaves to guanyin temple to seek his answers, to speak to the man he knows and trusts. perhaps there is reason to this.
he has not been blind to what meng yao has done throughout the years, but each action has been a response to antagonism he's faced or presented with reason. xichen would never have offered his support if he did not see the benefit, the balance. he will not brand the other man a liar, not until he has that admissions or an explanation before him. xichen hopes he gets the latter, for the accusations behind his questions are far more serious than the ones which lead a-yao to return his token.
the sight that finds him at the temple does not put him at ease; the monks are set about tasks that do not account for the maintenance or building of a temple. they lead him to where their master waits, turned away.
and when he turns, xichen's heart skips. this is his sworn bother, a man he knows. and yet--] A-Yao. What is all this?