he knows he deserves the barrier the name puts up between them, for lately they've both dropped long-used and familiar endearments. it hasn't been in favor of anything, but perhaps to put distance between them and the words and actions that have started to cut deep.
he had hoped to bridge the gap those wounds have allowed to grow as they fester; he's not sure they still can.
xichen watches as baxia moves on its own accord, the energy around it far from calm. then mingjue is before him and xichen feels like he's lost track of him as he sits, hesitates for a moment before joining him.
he moves to pour tea but it seems with both cutting words and actions, his lover is in no mood to pull back any blows. he deserves it, he knows, but it stings. another time, it would have grated him in a different way. the comment would have had the opposite effect, triggered the very thing that lead them down the familiar path to a fight over meng yao. xichen would insist that meng yao does have merits, speak for the actions that have proven his character and against mingjue's biases but now. well, now, he cannot.
he thinks back to meng yao's letters, to soft words that appeased his own worries for mingjue's state and promised to do anything to help.
xichen wants to know what this song is, why it grates at his nerves and what meng yao intends with it. why it's different. but that is not the matter to deal with now.
he lets out a soft sigh, reaches for his own cup of tea but makes no move to bring it to his lips. 'speak honestly', states the wall of precepts. xichen has lived to be the embodiment of everything written on those ancient stones but honesty here is a delicate thing, with everyone involved.] Not a matter of his merit, no, but I am afraid it does have to do with our brother. [he says carefully.] Or rather with something that he has done that I do not understand.
I know I have asked for your trust and you have always granted it. [breathe in, breathe out, he thinks.] It's wholly in your right not to now, when it seems my trust may be misplaced, but before I explain I must ask that you do not allow anyone else to play Clarity for you.
no subject
he knows he deserves the barrier the name puts up between them, for lately they've both dropped long-used and familiar endearments. it hasn't been in favor of anything, but perhaps to put distance between them and the words and actions that have started to cut deep.
he had hoped to bridge the gap those wounds have allowed to grow as they fester; he's not sure they still can.
xichen watches as baxia moves on its own accord, the energy around it far from calm. then mingjue is before him and xichen feels like he's lost track of him as he sits, hesitates for a moment before joining him.
he moves to pour tea but it seems with both cutting words and actions, his lover is in no mood to pull back any blows. he deserves it, he knows, but it stings. another time, it would have grated him in a different way. the comment would have had the opposite effect, triggered the very thing that lead them down the familiar path to a fight over meng yao. xichen would insist that meng yao does have merits, speak for the actions that have proven his character and against mingjue's biases but now. well, now, he cannot.
he thinks back to meng yao's letters, to soft words that appeased his own worries for mingjue's state and promised to do anything to help.
xichen wants to know what this song is, why it grates at his nerves and what meng yao intends with it. why it's different. but that is not the matter to deal with now.
he lets out a soft sigh, reaches for his own cup of tea but makes no move to bring it to his lips. 'speak honestly', states the wall of precepts. xichen has lived to be the embodiment of everything written on those ancient stones but honesty here is a delicate thing, with everyone involved.] Not a matter of his merit, no, but I am afraid it does have to do with our brother. [he says carefully.] Or rather with something that he has done that I do not understand.
I know I have asked for your trust and you have always granted it. [breathe in, breathe out, he thinks.] It's wholly in your right not to now, when it seems my trust may be misplaced, but before I explain I must ask that you do not allow anyone else to play Clarity for you.